Monday, June 27, 2011

The Dream

Once upon a time, in a land far away, before my reality, I fell in love with a dream.  It was a beautiful dream,
filled with a rainbow of wonderful emotions that danced across my sky.  The kind of knee weakening, butterfly in the belly dream that you don't want to wake from but would rather snuggle down under the sheets pulling the pillow up over your head to get lost in.

I got so caught up in the dream that it began to transcend my reality. I'd wrapped myself in the feelings of euphoria, bliss, excitement, happiness and love. But alas, the dream was but a dream and soon it
began to change.  The kaleidascope turned, the shards of colored glass tumbled, and the beautiful feelings were no longer quite so beautiful.  

Some sneaky little feelings, "disappointment", "heartache", and "pain" raked their fingers across my emotions. picking at them, leaving them raw and me feeling vulnerable. The feelings did this any time the dream began to lose shape, shimmering, wavering, it's substance tearing along the edges. Each time this happened, the dream became weaker, slowly losing it's hold over me. My conscious mind could no longer accept the fragmentation of the dream. It was time to wake up.

I can't say exactly how long I was lost in the dream but I was there an awfully long time.  I was held there by an innocent childlike wonder at all it's pretentious beauty.  A sense of awe kept me spellbound.  A belief that somehow I could make it all REAL lulled me with false promises. The dream had lured me in with beautiful pictures and lovely words.  I was totally caught up in the illusion.

I was both sad and scared to emerge from the dream, but as with many things, my emotional rubber band had snapped, catapulting me into action, thrusting me back into the real world.  On shaky legs, I stood gazing about, blinking my eyes against the  blinding light of my reality.  Silently, I took stock of who I'd become since my last visit here.
I didn't rush through my assessment. I took my time, reviewing how the dream had impacted me, asking myself if it had changed my reality in any way and questioning how I myself might have changed throughout the dream state.  I knew that I had evolved. I'd emerged from the dream with a new understanding.  I'd become stronger, wiser, less encumbered, more empowered.  I'd been and  had all I ever needed BEFORE the dream.  I could be and have so much more now. And so I emerged from the dream (reluctantly) confident, excited, knowing who I am and all I'm capable of doing. I have a new purpose. 

Funny thing about dreams.  They have no substance.  They're only an illusion of our altered reality.  Whereas reality...reality has meat.  It has substance.  It's the clay we mold to define our existence and we define it the way WE choose it to be.