Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Somebody should have told me...

I headed out the door this morning, a spring in my step, excited about hitting some thrift stores and finding some interesting items. My morning caffeine fix rushed through my brain and I fairly buzzed about.

I visited one store after another.  At each checkout I asked the same question.  "Do you have any discounts or specials today?"

The shocker came when I visited the last store and unwittingly asked the same question.  The cashier asked if I was a "Senior".  I laughed, shaking my head no.  Out of curiosity I questioned at what age they considered a person to be a senior.  When  asked if I was 50 I felt the blood flush through my face, searing my scalp. 

Image and video hosting by TinyPicWhy yesYes!  I had  just turned 50.  When the cashier stated I qualified for the "Senior Discount" something inside me snapped and I wanted to yell "You take that back!  Take. It. Back.  NOW!  I'm not one of those...I'm not a senior...I'm not...I'm not... (dissolving in tears).

A quick mental picture of myself flying over the counter feet first planting one stiletto heel right between the cashiers eyes snuffed itself out before I could act.

I maintained my composure, graciously accepted my discount and scrambled to make a hasty exit, tucking my dignity between my legs.  After all, I did ask for it.  (How many times did mother warn you, be careful what you ask for?)

I sat inside my truck.  Stunned.  Surprised. In some sense even horrified. Many things ran through my mind.  I am now considered a "Senior".  I turned the key in the ignition and headed home, still in a bit of a daze.  I mean 50.  To me it was just another birthday.  No big thing.  But 50?  When the hell did this happen?

Image and video hosting by TinyPicI dragged myself through the front door, shrugged my clothes off and pulled on my fluffiest bath robe. My feet found comfort in a pair of fuzzy old house slippers.

Shuffling to the bathroom I wet my hair and put it up in big metal rollers (the kind with the spiky plastic thingies in the middle-heavens only knows where those came from!), washed off my makeup and put on my anti-wrinkle cream while contemplating where I would find a donut to sit my poor old tush on.  I squeezed in a couple of kegels for good measure.

A cup of weak, watered down tea sat cooling beside me taking the place of my usual double espresso while images of "Maxine" danced in my mind.

In front of the mirror, I opened my robe and much to my surprise I didn't see a "Senior" standing there.  My breasts are still perky, my butt cheeks aren't sagging, my belly still looks pretty darned good.  I continued to stare in confusion.  My mental image of "Senior" just wasn't fitting the image reflected back at me.

Image and video hosting by TinyPicI checked my teeth.  Thankfully I won't need polygrip, polident or any other denture grip because I'm blessed to still have all my own natural teeth.  I looked at my eyes.  Yes, there are a few "character" lines (I refuse to call them "crows feet") around the outer corners but my eyes don't droop and I don't have bags under them.

My mouth looks fine.  A couple of smile creases at the corner but nothing major. Definitely not any "road maps" crisscrossing my face.  Thank heavens.
With a final assessment of myself in the mirror I had to smile.  All in all, I look pretty danged "hot" and, if I'm going to be a "Senior" at least, by George, I'm a sexy Senior ;-)

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  1. i want that belly, give it to me now :O~ your looking a hottie to me flower xx

  2. You're funny! My mom had the same attitude and let 5 years of discounts pass her by before she would finally admit to being a senior! Drove me nuts!!!!!!! I told her, "You have EARNED that discount and you are BLESSED to have reached 50, so stand on the rooftops and yell it out!!!" You're beautiful, inside and outside, so the wrinkles on the outside are fantastic signs of lots of smiling and love!! ♥

  3. Jeannie, you are the sexiest "senior" I've ever seen! You have nothing to worry about! Last week I was perturbed because my age is two years past the start of the senior discount for one place and the next day I was upset because I had three more years to go before I qualified for the discount somewhere else! Damned if you do and damned if you don't! As always, you made me laugh!

  4. Jeannie, you are a total HOOT! Speaking from a place of being 54 years old, I find this all too amusing as I remember being 35 the first time and OLDER woman called me "Mam" and I about had a fit with the same confused reaction.
    At 54, life is sweeter, better, smarter, more loving, less complicated (mentally that is) than ever before. Welcome to your 50's my sweet darling! It's so far been the best I've ever been!

  5. Can't believe I didn't check your blog out before! You are very funny and you're in my google reader now as we both women of a certain age :)
    Louise Edington
    International AuPair Finder

  6. Ada, you always say just the right things! lol

    The Redhead Riter, we should all embrace whatever age we're living at the moment. ALL ages are the best age ever!

    Victoria, I'm catching up with you sweetie ;-)

    Louise, so pleased to have you here! I'll be following you as well (already have you saved).

  7. Okay Jeannie, I laughed all the way through this post! Still I'm finding myself smiling at your vivid descriptions, But now I have to say DAMNIT You reminded me I have to pull the treadmill into my living room so that My Butt Cheeks will get off the backs of my Knees!
    Thanks Jeannie!

  8. Kelley, it's always GREAT to see you! I've seen your pics and there's NO way your butt cheeks are hitting the back of your knees lol. There's no better time than the present however, to keep our hawt selves looking hawt. I love ya gal!

  9. Ha!! You are so funny! I loved this post! My mom is a few years older than you and she is HOT too! I hope I'm blessed with her genes.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I love new visitors!

    And I saw you Begal below. I also have an adorable Beagle whom I love almost as much as my hubby! =)

  10. Hi Impulsive Addict! Like you, I love new visitors. If you loved this post, maybe you should share with your HOT mom ;-) No matter the age, we are all hot in our own rights. Thanks for popping in!

  11. Funny post. You look very nice for fifty, nice abs:)

  12. Hello Toyin O. It's a pleasure to meet you and thanks for stopping in. I appreciate the interaction w/people. *blushing* Love compliments too!