Tuesday, November 30, 2010

That old, restless feeling

I wrap myself in a tshirt worn by him, his fragrance tickling my senses as I curl up on the bed.  This shirt that's cut for a 6'7' body is too large for me and the fabric folds itself between my legs. I roll over, stretching a hand across the bed, feeling cold where the warmth of his body should be.

Image and video hosting by TinyPicNight time is the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if he's ever coming home though  I know he is. It's just that he's been gone so very, very long.  I scrunch a pillow up under my head and lay staring at the ceiling, wishing the night away.

I can hear the wind rattling the outside of the house and unseen objects are blown up against the structure.  I rarely question living this far from town but then the solidarity creeps up and the emptiness I feel makes me restless.  I try to outrun the night but I can't hide from it's inky chill.

I toss and turn watching shadows dance across the wall, a beam of light reflected from somewhere outside.  The t.v. screen flashes a DishTV message at me but I ignore it. 

I press his shirt against my nose, close my eyes and breathe deeply.  It's the nearest thing I have to his touch and I revel in it...for the moment. I can almost hear the soft thudding of his heart, his slow, steady breathing, feel the heat from his flesh.  I swim in a sea of warm memories. 

Soon.  Soon he will be home.


  1. Jeannie....

    If this is of today, and not of a once upon a time, I hope he returns sooner than later... I know there are many who have lived this one, who are living this one and who will live this one in the future.

    Godspeed his safe return.

  2. Judy he's still out storm chasing. I've opted to remain home, setting up the new house and tying up loose ends. Still, I miss the excitement of being on the go, and more, I miss his laughter here at home. Thanks for the wishes for his speedy return.

  3. I hope he comes home soon for your sake:)

    I just also want to thank you for visting my blog and your gracious comment. Have a blessed week!

  4. Thank you Toyin O. Sometimes we don't realize how much another's presence fills our life until they aren't around. So many pockets of silence where there would normally be laughter. I hear the echoes of it, but it's just not the same.

    I loved visiting your blog. Thank you so much for sharing your spirituality with so many others.

  5. How wonderful that after years of marriage you still feel this way! Nothing like being in love!

  6. Victoria, it's the same as it was when I first met him. I love being in love :-)

  7. Writing from the forever of once upon a time I can only say that I hope your soon is just around the corner. Beautifully written! Being in love has made you a poet.

  8. (((Victoria))) Good to see you. Where've you been?

  9. Oh, I've been around! Just not always seen ;-)